Shaggy dog story for Midusmmer

[sarabande]

King Arthur and Sir Lancelot were seated on a bench, in the fading light of the June solstice evening in Camelot, going through the end-of year accounts.

Times were hard the King realised: the Wessex Groat versus Viking Kroner exchange rate had moved against the Round Table again, and climate change had reduced the amount of mammoths available for feast-days.

Murders and Acquisitions of assorted tribal states and jarldoms had been costly in both bribes and compensations. The Remuneration Committee had taken a dim view of the Looting and Revenge package, and last year's whistleblowing strategy had led to a severe reduction in odes and sagas at the Annual Glastonbury Festival.

The Auditors had recommended more cutbacks in the Ministry of Defence budget, so the King looked carefully at the preceding years' figures, to give himself encouragement that all was under control in Round Table Inc.

Then up spake his trusty Knight, “Sire, have you seen that we are spending yet more on armour and weapons than ever before ? Unless we can demonstrate adequate internal controls on specific assets, we shall end up having to slash our performance bonus and cash-based incentives, and my Lady Guinevere will not be amused.”

“'Zwounds !,” replied the monarch, reaching for his ball-point plume, and making notes on the parchment, “can we see where the overspend has taken place ?”

Lancelot switched on his i-abacus and his fingers flew over the spreadwires. “Most of the money went in replacing suits of armour before they were to due to be recycled, buying bigger swords, and for replenishing our stock of chargers,” he said, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. “The new ones do take account of the current Dragon-slaying and Safety regulations (as amended), but with the price of Wealden iron ore at a steady level, and blacksmiths rates pegged under the ACAS agreement of last year, we should have no need of bigger armour and horses, but – look, no less than twenty- two size XXL breastplates, cuirasses, and helms.”

They stared disconsolately at other vellum output from the blot-matrix printer. Then slowly, the King raised his head. “All this kit is more expensive, because it is much much larger.” He turned and looked carefully at the sundial on the plinth beside him, its gnomom glinting in the evening sun.

“Ah,” he said, “I have it, Lancelot; the answer to our treasury woes. It is simply because.....












… the knights are getting longer.”

[Telo]

Well, I thought it was funny!

Of course, I do seem to be losing my critical faculties......

[Nick]

Well, I thought it was funny!

I thought it was funny too . . . perhaps we need a 'Like' button.

[aquaplane]