I have an auld friend

[claymore]

Who has apparently ceased to engage with the woodbine. Whilst I am delighted not to have to point out to the silly old sod what "stand downwind" means - the fekker is probably going to be gaining weight as his taste buds get a life.
Should we suggest he begins to diet now or wait until he's 20 stone (about 3 stone away at present)

[Silkie]

He's just big-boned.

[ParaHandy]

Harrumph ... the wee dwarf would think twice about inviting the 17 stone fat git you describe onto his fine vessel in a fortnight's time; the additional avoirdupois would upset the delicate balance of this finely tuned craft and his culinary capacity would be sorely taxed to feed one with such a voracious appetite.

I could think of many other examples to disprove your scurrilous accusations but none would have the quality, the provenance, the precision, the merit and strength of the example noted above which so comprehensively disproves your theory.

Oh hosannah wi' oot ra fire ....

[claymore]

As the Silken one would say.....ffs.

Were youse the fat fekker that was evicted fae the RYS at the weekend. Ah heard telt someone matchin yer description hed an altercation wi a hat stand.