When working in the engine compartment of a Claymore

[claymore]

Don't forget to close the lid after you've finished.

If you do forget, you will remember the instant that you find yourself in freefall - this comes a nanosecond before your shin takes one off the gearbox, your back lands on the ridge at the edge of the cockpit locker and your head cracks smartly against the back of the wheelhouse.

Some time later when the stars have stopped spinning your mind will be full of fairly negative thoughts about all sorts of issues - your fekking memory, the fekking boat, life and so on.
The following morning, because your memory has erased the whole sorry incident, upon waking you will be convinced for a moment that you must have been assaulted. The head will not have been helped by draining the last of Para's Old Pulteney and your leg will be stuck to the sheet.
Hopefully, like me, your wife will be away somewhere and so she will not hear your pathetic whimpering nor your curses as you realise that you now have to wash the sheets - the ones that you just washed 2 days ago.....

[Aja]

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[Aja]

Claysie
Whit were ye dayin' workin' oan yer in-gin at this time of year, man?

More important why were the sheets stickin ?

Donald

[claymore]

Weel Donal
I like to lift the engine cover tae let the auld lump get a wee bit sunshine oan its noble heed fae time tae time.

The sheets were sticking because ma life's blood had eked oot all ower them - think ah've lost aboot half a leg-full.

[Arghiro]

It may not seem like it at the moment, but I think you may have gotten off quite lightly. My pal ripped his achilles tendon in a similar accident on a narrow boat & has had a severe limp ever since.

Ohh, and conveniently, salt water is excellent for removing blood from textiles.

[sahona]

No damage to the engine I trust.