To All BMW & 4x4 Drivers

[Pete Cooper]

The switch that you used to switch on your fog lamps can also be used to turn them off.

[Rowana]

Ye'd need tae leave them switched oan if ye were up here the nicht!

Canae see yer han' ahent yer back oot there!

[Telo]

The switch that you used to switch on your fog lamps can also be used to turn them off.

Umm, are you saying that all BMW and 4x4 drivers are, basically, errrmmm, dickheads?

[sahona]

BMW - hedgehog syndrome.

[Gardenshed]

Notes to ALL drivers:

1. FOG lights can be switched off when you drive out of an area of fog
2. You don't need them when driving nose-to-tail through 40mph speed camera restricted workworks
3. Don't use them in rain, it creates unnecessary glare

There appears to be a general delight in being able to switch these things on (oh I heard there was fog somewhere in the UK today, I'll switch on my fog lights just in case...) rather than using eyes, judgement & common sense:
If you can see cars 1/2 -1 mile ahead so the extra glare from a fog light isn't needed

Introduced when Lukas, Prince of Darkness, was the supplier of choice of car electrics and before the days of large, good quality rear lights, they are now all but redundant except on the foggiest of foggy days

In my ammendments to the highway code and traffic legislation, putting on fog lights in inappropriate conditions would be a 6 point ban and your car impounded

Similarly, anyone sitting in the middle lane not overtaking a vehicle on the inside: penal camp, car confiscated & large donation to a "charitable foundation" (aka my boat fund)

Frustration causes accidents so let the guy behind pass and leave the enforcement of speed limits to the police.

[little boy blue]

Notes to ALL drivers:...........................................................
In my ammendments to the highway code and traffic legislation, putting on fog lights in inappropriate conditions would be a 6 point ban and your car impounded

Similarly, anyone sitting in the middle lane not overtaking a vehicle on the inside: penal camp, car confiscated

you must be in a good mood - imnsho, you are far too lenient - + they would have to walk for the rest of their lives. ( please excuse the puddock mode - specialist subject - incompetent drivers ).

[Pete Cooper]

My understanding, and this is from some years ago, is that rear fog lights are only legal in daylight fog where visibilty is less than 200 Yards/Metres.

[sahona]

another good reason for OUR (and only) cars to be fitted with photon torpedos.

[Gardenshed]

Not photon torpedos, but a vapo-gun.

Turns the car in front into a cloud of vapour that you can drive through with no harm, and then a microsoft office programme is booted up to re-configure the randomised gas particles back into their original state......simples

Immunity is granted to those displaying a blue moment burgree or other sailing related icons that I like.

note from earlier post: Lucas is the correct spelling for the prince of darkness

[sahona]

Oh dear.
I think the lid may have come off the worm-jar...
If Webby sees this, we'll all have to cover up our TOG stickers with B.M. "Wayne and Sandra" strips.
no doubt it will be marketed as a "shield" of some sort, to protect us from men-in-sheds.

[lady_stormrider]

Can someone tell me where the switch is to turn the Klingon cloaking device off my Honda CBR125? I have to wear flourescent orange pants (which makes my bum look big)

[Aja]

Can someone tell me where the switch is to turn the Klingon cloaking device off my Honda CBR125? I have to wear flourescent orange pants (which makes my bum look big)

AH! a Honda CB 125 - I had one of these too! ANS 522S. It was black so it was and I learned how to fall off properly with it!

Regards

Donald

[lady_stormrider]

Ah this is the problem. Mine's a CBR125 with a cloaking device. Electric start and no 2-stroke faffing. Handy for passing BMW 4x4's sat in traffic but utterly impractical for towing a Westerly Centaur

[sahona]

I get confused since they changed the gearchange and footbrake to the wrong sides, but I think the cloakchoke lever is under the left side of the chaincase. Unfortunately, if you try to reach it without dismounting, you have an even worse "bottoms-up" situation.
There is a remote operating kit available from WWW://Pullthisone.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; I think.

[Pete Cooper]

I have to wear flourescent orange pants (which makes my bum look big)

But Lady Stormrider nothing could make your perfectly pert posterior look anything less than gorgeous