A long over due appology

[puddock]

This is a little more formal an apology than I am used to composing but one that needs to be posted none the less.
Take it how you like but it is a genuine expression of regret and f**king up – big style (as the kids would say).
My behaviour of late has been erratic to say the least, This was in no way caused by or influenced by members of the forum but merely my own ability to handle circumstances which were happening around me, in the real world.
I would be here all night if I were to start apologizing for every thing I have posted lately.
For now, I will apologize, firstly, to any that have been offended by my replies or inappropriate comments to any posts ( I have tried reading back – and gave up).
My main points of apology however, are to Full Circle, and the other posters on the “Official pirates” thread.
Why I even got onto that subject is beyond me. My replies to the post were disrespectful and obnoxious to say the least. I am not a proud man at all. To be honest, if it was another poster, I would have been absolutely livid.
However, as you will have seen, I was soon to outdo myself with “My New Spinnaker”. Equally ashamed (especially as 4 of my fathers 5 brothers all served in the RN during the war ). I really cannot think of a suitable way to excuse my words.
(Incidentally, the timing of the post was not meant to coincide with Memorial Sunday or Armistice Day – I always, when in the UK, attend memorial services and have done since I was 14- once asked to leave as I was a punk rocker at the time ???).
I realise my behaviour has been pretty obnoxious and vile and I cannot disagree with you. . I honestly cannot think of any way to apologise for that sort of behaviour.

As an insight (not an excuse), I have gone trough one of the most mentally draining and frustrating times I have ever experienced in my life. I had to keep “things” secret, while someone that I spent the majority of my leisure time with, was dying. I had to face his wife and tell her things weren’t so bad. I had to lie to his daughter so that she would be “her normal self” for him. I had to lie to him. I was f**ked and seriously considered finishing my own pathetic life! I hated myself. I was keeping secrets from people I respected and loved. I had to go into (self imposed) excile, due to work and I am sorry but you got the (Not normal) alcohol induced raantngs and ravings
I NEVER drink at home, I rarely drink away from home but I “ran and hid”. I am sorry for hiding behind you.

I truly hope you will accept my appology - I fully understand if you do not.


Side note: Nick, you really should have banned or suspended me – I wouldn’t have taken it personally.

[Arghiro]

It takes a MAN to say that, (well, OK perhaps a WOMAN too, but that's not appropriate in this case!) I read your post about the "Rainbow from Daddy" & was touched.

It is hard to lose a friend. We tend to think of the person dying, but sometimes they are well out of it by the end. It is more often the people left behind to pick up the pieces & "carry on as normal" that really need the support. I gather you have been providing that support, and it is a heavy load to carry. Be proud that you did so. Blowing off on a forum is a mild way of sharing the load - even if we may not have understood at the time.

I hope you will be able to take strength from the responses to your post. But good zest any way.

[puddock]

Thank you Arghiro, I wasn't sure what kind of response was coming. (By the way, just read earlier posts and NO we were not secret gay lovers...just two lads that capered about together, lost mates together, climbed together, fought together then eventually grew up together)

[Nick]

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That's a big apology - and as Arghiro has said, it takes guts to do that on a public forum. I didn't think you did anything worthy of a ban and - obviously - neither did my fellow moderator El Silkenstein - and you would in any event have received a warning first. Anyway, thanks for that and welcome back into the fold. As you will no doubt have realised there are some gruff old annoying people on here, but no-one who bears a grudge.