Corrupting Nephews

[claymore]

A friend of mine is currently sailing a couple of boats on the Virtual Volvo Race. I cannot be seen to be too offensive here as one of them is my ain fine craft which for a variety of reasons I have not been around to sail myself. Anyway - he is doing a fine job and sailing it far better than ever I could. That said, my nephew is a fellow competitor in the said race and he and the ageing friend appear to have struck up something of a rapport.
It was brought to my notice last evening through the electronic mailing system that my "friend" takes every opportunity to cast nasturtiums upon my fine and blameless character and judging from the less than respectful tone of my hitherto beloved nephew's correspondence, the seeds of corruption have been sown. I have moved from My Dear Uncle John to Wotcher y'Auld Goat....
Suggestions please, for addressing this hurtful and distressing situation would be appreciated.

[sahona]

Perhaps the ten-shilling note could be left out of the next birthday card?

[Silkie]

Perhaps you could post something on a sailing forum which your "friend" reads, without naming names. I'm sure that your "friend" will mend his ways once he realises the distress and hurt he has caused.

[FullCircle]

Perhaps you could post something on a sailing forum which your "friend" reads, without naming names. I'm sure that your "friend" will mend his ways once he realises the distress and hurt he has caused.

You just have to be kidding....

[ParaHandy]

A friend of mine is currently sailing a couple of boats on the Virtual Volvo Race.

Harrumph ... Jings. Where did I finish leg 4 and where did you finish? Shipwrecked I was, whilst you sailed serenely on to a top .. erm .. 28,000 finish. Even the Marie Celeste hud a ghost crew but not my ane boat and, whereas each of the previous legs, when you've had an attack of the vapours or wus aff shmoozing, I have steered yer tub to, if i say so masel', respectable finishes, no such reciprocal offer wus forthcoming ... harrumph

my nephew is a fellow competitor in the said race and he and the ageing friend appear to have struck up something of a rapport.

we did huv a broad ranging discussion and ah did mensun that yer apparent tight-wadishness when at the bar wus merely yersel' following government guidelines regarding drinking orra those younger than the auld goat himsel'

I have moved from My Dear Uncle John to Wotcher y'Auld Goat..

the only dear that's moved yer good sel' is dear heart, i understand?!!

[claymore]

Weel noo - that flushed ye oot ye scaldie.

Startin wi ra previous leg - I did youse the honour o givin youse ma name an password. Yer ain ye have chosen not tae share sae hoo exactly wiz ah supposed tae help?

Hes yon wee buggeroo been talkin aboot ma domestic line-toeing activities? Jings es naethin sacred in this world. The wee sod is aff swanning aroon New Zealand at present an nae doobt thinks ra distance offers some kind o safety buffer.

WRANG

[ParaHandy]

WRANG

yer jist a big bully .. !!

[Telo]

Do you have any photographs of your "friend"?

[claymore]

Ah hev a nice wan of his airse - which is actually an imrovement oer his fizzog

[Silkie]

Let's not go there again.