A poem I'm working on

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jim.r
SWS
Posts: 863
Joined: Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:49 pm
Boat Type: Moody S38

A poem I'm working on

Post by jim.r »

What do you think so far?

Your skin glows like the tomato, blossoms flourescent as the onion in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your french horn voice and leaps like a kangaroo at the whisper of your name.
The evening floats in on a great starling wing.
I am comforted by the weight your jacket as I carry it into the twilight of urban renewal and hold next to my nostrils.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears with beer.
As my eyes fall on your face, it reminds me of my carpet.
In the quiet, I listen for the last fart of the day.
My heated foot leaps to my sock.
I wait in the moonlight for your secret chair so that we may hunker as one, elbow to elbow, in search of the magnificent purple and mystical river of love.
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little boy blue
Old Salt
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:53 pm
Location: CLYDE

keep ....

Post by little boy blue »

working. there may be an opening for you in dundee :lol:
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claymore
Admiral of the Green
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Location: Ardfern or Lancashire

Post by claymore »

I cannot read it without wondering about the intended recipient and your perception of that relationship.
Do go on - is the 2nd verse of this masterpiece ready for consumption yet?
Regards
Claymore
:goatd
jim.r
SWS
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Joined: Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:49 pm
Boat Type: Moody S38

Post by jim.r »

Well I'm not sure yet of the market, I was thinking of selling it. Can you think of a likely purcaser? THis may of course influence the direction of development of this opus vitae
Daveanmucker
Master Mariner
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Location: Lancashire

Post by Daveanmucker »

I like it, I like realism and honesty. Can we have more?
We can't change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.
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aquaplane
Admiral of the White Rose
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Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:55 pm
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Post by aquaplane »

Sell it to Hallmark, it would look fantastic in a card. :hardhat:

Do you have any Vogon blood by any chance?
Seminole.
Cheers Bob.
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aquaplane
Admiral of the White Rose
Posts: 1555
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:55 pm
Boat Type: Jeanneau Espace
Location: Body: West Yorks; Boat: Tayvallich

Post by aquaplane »

Stormy thought his day job was Poet Laureate!
Seminole.
Cheers Bob.
Alan_D
Master Mariner
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Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:11 am
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Location: Scotland

Post by Alan_D »

Did you use a random phrase generator?
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