BLUEMOMENT

is a bit like the Mary Deare

Hows about a Limerick


There was an old sailor called Sgeir

claymore wrote: There was an old sailor called Sgeir,

Who one day came over quite queer,

When he grabbed hold of Silkie

Who'd had more than one drinkie

She was heard to remark

Are those lugs, or sails for the Ark?

Hm Doesn't really scan that well. How did Sgeir change sex?

Dunno - looking at him you would say it wasn't possible - but you are right about the lugs

You meant . . .

There was a young laddie named Sgeir
Whose ears were awfully queer
As big as twa jugs
Were these loupin' great lugs
But useless for holding ones beer

And now for something completely different . . .

There was an old salt name of Claymore
Who at chentleman's cruise wouldn't playmore
The three nations cruise
Involves maybe less booze
And I think that I'd better not saymore

And for TCM . . .

A playful young fellow named Matt
Went West to look at a cat
The previous owner
Was a miserable moaner
So Matt didn't sit on the cat

There was an old rover named Nick
he's the one with the very small dick
Well he found all the bores who lived in the azores
and returned then to Oban, quite quick

Its gone quiet again

There was an old rover named Nick
he's the one with the very small dick **1
Well he found all the bores who lived in the azores
and returned then to Oban, quite quick

**1 dick: Coll. - Slang for boat (N. England)

Just you wait until I come up with a rhyme for patio . . .

Well - that means that I'll probably end up as fattio?

Well - that means that I'll probably end up as fattio**?

**1 fattio: Coll. - Old Lancastrian for rotund

A sailor chap now known as Fattio
Consumed cauliflower on his patio
He said I'll be smart
And pretend 'twas a fart
Then no-one will know that I've shattio . . .

(Bet you wish yould never started this thread now . . . )

There was a young sailor called Nick
Whose wit was exceedingly quick
He set sail one day
In a runcible way
For the Snark was a boojum you see