Proofreading time again please

Forum for general cruising topics
Post Reply
User avatar
Nick
Admiral of the Blue
Posts: 5927
Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 4:11 pm
Boat Type: Albin Vega 27 and Morgan Giles 30
Location: Oban. Scotland
Contact:

Proofreading time again please

Post by Nick »

.
YachtCharterClyde has just gone live.

A bit of final proofreading from anyone at a loose end would as usual be much appreciated.
- Nick 8)

Image
User avatar
cpedw
Old Salt
Posts: 891
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:38 am
Boat Type: Nordship 35DS
Location: Oban

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by cpedw »

Home page top line "...boat of her..." and modern ??

Apart from Contact/How to find us I didn't see any mention of where it's based.

I like to see a Layout. I suppose there's one in the brochure download but up front would be better IMO.

Derek
User avatar
aquaplane
Admiral of the White Rose
Posts: 1555
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:55 pm
Boat Type: Jeanneau Espace
Location: Body: West Yorks; Boat: Tayvallich

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by aquaplane »

My spelling is pants so I'll not mention that I didn't see anything wrong.

Links all seem to work.

longbow.html (and another page) has some pale blue text that doesn't seem consistant with the rest of it, and there is no apparent reason for it to be highlighted that I could see. Is it deliberate?
Seminole.
Cheers Bob.
tom26
Able Seaman
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 7:50 pm
Location: Glasgow
Contact:

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by tom26 »

I never normally post but the combination of the lure of proof reading and a quiet Friday afternoon has me motivated!


On the first page - through our Cruisng Area pages

On longbow.html - is spacious, is easily accessable

On safety.html - 'grab bag' with aditional safety equipment

On overview.html - long seas lochs the Clyde

On arran.html - Not sure this makes sense to me but could be wrong of course - The shortest passage to Arran is from the North, with Lochranzea is a short sail from Tarbert or Tighnabruaich

On arran.html - waters of Kilbrandon Sound takes you down

On itineraries.html - Kilchattan Bay can make a pleasant detur for a

On availability.html - our clients' requiremets

Nice site
User avatar
Nick
Admiral of the Blue
Posts: 5927
Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 4:11 pm
Boat Type: Albin Vega 27 and Morgan Giles 30
Location: Oban. Scotland
Contact:

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Nick »

.
Brilliant guys - this is all tremendously helpful. Will get these things sorted later this evening if I manage to stay out of the pub, though I am slightly on other peoples' holidays again. This is a hazard of living on Seil I'm afraid.
- Nick 8)

Image
User avatar
Mark
Old Salt
Posts: 893
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:16 pm

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Mark »

I haven't had a good long read but the site is exactly to my taste.

Really simple, no b0llo0ks.

The off season price looks spot on and I have real affection for Longbows.

The description of the Clyde is spot on: "safe, sheltered and with a wealth of facilities yet still wild enough to get away from it all if that is your preference".

10/10.
User avatar
Nick
Admiral of the Blue
Posts: 5927
Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 4:11 pm
Boat Type: Albin Vega 27 and Morgan Giles 30
Location: Oban. Scotland
Contact:

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Nick »

Mark wrote:
The description of the Clyde is spot on: "safe, sheltered and with a wealth of facilities yet still wild enough to get away from it all if that is your preference".

10/10.
Thankyou. Copywriting is just one of the many free services my web clients get that others have to pay for :o
- Nick 8)

Image
User avatar
Nick
Admiral of the Blue
Posts: 5927
Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 4:11 pm
Boat Type: Albin Vega 27 and Morgan Giles 30
Location: Oban. Scotland
Contact:

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Nick »

.
That's all those changes made. Quite a few of the photos on the site are duplicated, so I will be updating them next week.
- Nick 8)

Image
MrMcP
Master Mariner
Posts: 152
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 9:42 am
Boat Type: Other peoples...

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by MrMcP »

Terms and conditions page:

One heading reads OPTIONAL EXPTRAS THAT THE CHARTERER PAYS FOR

There seems to be mixed fonts between text paragraphs and bullet points?

Security deposit is first described as a minimum of £750, then later as a cheque for £1000.

Sail Swallow appears once, presumably should be Yacht Charter Clyde?

There is one bullet point under obligations of charterer (think it's the second one) that should be a nested bullet list but instead appears as text interspersed with 'o' where each nested bullet should appear.
User avatar
Nick
Admiral of the Blue
Posts: 5927
Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 4:11 pm
Boat Type: Albin Vega 27 and Morgan Giles 30
Location: Oban. Scotland
Contact:

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Nick »

MrMcP wrote:Terms and conditions page:

One heading reads OPTIONAL EXPTRAS THAT THE CHARTERER PAYS FOR

There seems to be mixed fonts between text paragraphs and bullet points?

Security deposit is first described as a minimum of £750, then later as a cheque for £1000.

Sail Swallow appears once, presumably should be Yacht Charter Clyde?

There is one bullet point under obligations of charterer (think it's the second one) that should be a nested bullet list but instead appears as text interspersed with 'o' where each nested bullet should appear.
Thanks MrMcP - that was a much needed fine toothed comb.
- Nick 8)

Image
Gardenshed
Old Salt
Posts: 711
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:59 pm
Boat Type: Grand Soleil 39 & Hobie Tiger
Location: 13:44:00N 100:32:00E

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Gardenshed »

Day 5 of the suggested cruising itinerary:

but tehre are plenty of sheltered anchorages in the huge natural harbour of Lamlash bay - or pick up a visitors’ mooring.
User avatar
Nick
Admiral of the Blue
Posts: 5927
Joined: Sun May 12, 2002 4:11 pm
Boat Type: Albin Vega 27 and Morgan Giles 30
Location: Oban. Scotland
Contact:

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Nick »

Gardenshed wrote:Day 5 of the suggested cruising itinerary:

but tehre are plenty of sheltered anchorages in the huge natural harbour of Lamlash bay - or pick up a visitors’ mooring.
Thanks - now fixed.
- Nick 8)

Image
User avatar
Booby Trapper
Old Salt
Posts: 624
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:48 pm
Boat Type: Jeanneau Attalia
Location: ayrshire
Contact:

Re: Proofreading time again please

Post by Booby Trapper »

Home page- Guillemot is is currently being fitted out.

You like your commas there are a lot of commas that I don't think should be there but what do I know.

Finally there are twin quarterberths aft, giving a total of...... between aft and giving?

straight berth to stbd, with good storage behind .... Comma between stbd and with not needed?

for a fleet of warships, yet snug enough for a yacht ....Another comma?

open water of Loch Fyne, with spectacular views .....Another comma?


Loch Goil is a branch off Loch Long to the west, and has two attractive destinations ....another comma?

The East coast of Arran is more exposed, but the huge natural harbour ...comma?

Loch Long will take you to the foot of the Arrrochar Alps
Kyles of bute.....the island of Bute from the mainland the North.....????

The new marina at Portavadie, opposite Tarbert, is an alternative destination....another 2 commas?

This is suggested as a starting point for people who haven't visited the Clyde before. If you are an old Clyde hand you will no doubt have a long list of places you want to go).....Closed bracket but no opening

Could do better 6/10 :D
Post Reply