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A tale of two khazi

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 2:59 pm
by ParaHandy
Whilst my own is silent, save for the exertions of the user both during and after whilst pumping it out, there are some which include the screeching of an electric motor. In this particular vessel, it is normal for one to retire to one's bunk in a state of complete incapacity, comatose, such that nocturnal widdlings by others do not disturb.

Perversely, the only thing worse than this is for it to be unavailable through lack of maintenance or, in the case of the khazi which I might wish to avail myself this coming spring, an overuse during the winter months which will lead to a mechanical failure; the alternative of a bucket is a virtual impossibility. Once one has grappled with the patio doors which are more difficult to undo than Bessie Braddock's bra, the upcoming event will have occurred.

Of course, the obstinate, obdurate, auld goat has yet to seek advice on this matter; trusting to luck, I suppose.

No, I implore Jimi to be among the first crew roster to take the vessel to the North. He has brilliantly fixed the khazi on a previous occasion using tools issued to the purchaser of a 1950 Bendix washing machine. In fact, I ensured Jimi's training was up to scratch by taking him on a reresher course of sailing on a dirty bottom recently.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:45 pm
by sahona
Have you youngsters not yet discovered the ubiquitous cockpit drain?
Do you need to be shown EVERYTHING?
Being familiar with the type of vessel upon which your nasturtiums are being cast, the only down side I can see is the proximity of the drains to the aft cabin door - easily overcome by using the trough cunningly placed for easy access all round the wheelhouse floor, and available from either companionway. That Allan Hill certainly knew about sailors.
Admittedly, the presence of a deck hose or other flush system helps keep the place from smelling like an old folks home. - Ah, we're back to the pressure pump again. Sorry! Disregard this.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:35 pm
by claymore
Bill
You need to understand that Para has no problem with the water - he just pees his pants. However, he was fitted at birth with an overactive and oversized ringpiece and is a real khazi blocker. it did for mine and as he rightly remembers, wee jim was sent in there without even a pair of marigolds to save the day. Sadly Jim was not with us when we were last in Tobermory and Para did for the public bogs - it was a wet summer anyway but the tourist office has never witnessed such an exodus for many a year.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 7:16 pm
by ParaHandy
sahona wrote:... easily overcome by using the trough cunningly placed for easy access all round the wheelhouse floor ..
On occasions, the Auld Goat would firkle down below switching on various pieces of apparatus. There would be a softish hum and gurgling and water would flow into this gulley whereupon would follow a request to taste it. If it tasted of salt water, we were sinking.

This is not to be confused with "being in the shoyte" which it very well could be given the plumbing but is normal, I thought, for such a craft?

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:12 am
by claymore
Harrummph
The plumbing is brand spanking new throughout - as is the gas supply.
And at least the water has never tasted like witchespiss which is how Jimi described yours.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:46 am
by sahona
Thanks, I'm now getting a vivid picture.
Modern chentlemans yacht fitted with electric cludgie...Hmmm
If a brick were to be schytte, and there was a poor electrical joint in the circuit, there would be a possibility of stalling the mincing machine right enough.
Our Lavac, however, can be used to assist on those days when the ex-lax has failed, by prudent use of the evacuation lever whilst astride....
Sometimes the old ways are the best.
Could we weld a winch handle socket to your pump shaft so one could lend a hand so to speak?

Season's greets,

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:59 pm
by claymore
William my respected auld fruitbat, you are demonstrating a rather heretofore unseen luddite tendency in respect of the sparking thunderbox - if you don't mind me saying so.

You must understand that the aforementioned Phandy comes off the box in sic a state post movement that the pressing of a button is the greatest physical exertion he is capable of - and no-one wants to be going in there and doing his pumping for him.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 2:29 pm
by Mehitabel
If khazi is plural, as the title of this thread would suggest, it is presumably Italian in origin and the singular would be khazo as in 'mia khazo e tu khazo'. Just a thought.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:21 pm
by claymore
I only have the one khazi...
Para only has the one and I think that Sahona would only have the one.
So - do you reckon that by adding all of these together we end up with a plural or is it really 3 individuals we are on about?

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:38 pm
by aquaplane
We have 2 on Chiron.

One is in a little cabin on it's own, it's got Portapotti on it.

T'uther is red, has an 'andle with a rope on it and moves about more.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:42 pm
by ljs
If you accidentally trip over whilst operating the aforesaid button in Kames Bay, is it a kame khazi?

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:05 pm
by sahona
what made khazo male? How about khaza as in keech-khaza - a direct translation of shtouse, and female to boot.
Guys don't need to bother with these things usually anyway (Captain Peter excepted, of course) so they're really only there for the wimmin...

Tin hat on, fingers in ears.

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:48 pm
by ParaHandy
sahona wrote:Thanks, I'm now getting a vivid picture ..... Could we weld a winch handle socket to your pump shaft so one could lend a hand so to speak?
Whilst communing with the great white receiver, I had cause to examine this. There is a nut at the shaft end, quarter inch whitworth I would guess. I've never seen the auld goat entering with a winch handle although, for that matter, I can't recall seeing one either.

I think a clandestine visit to this fine craft, the Auld Goat's tub, is in order?

Re: A tale of two khazi

Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:54 pm
by ParaHandy
ljs wrote:If you accidentally trip over whilst operating the aforesaid button in Kames Bay, is it a kame khazi?
brill ... !!

I've just received my winter fuel allowance from HMG which, if there's any left after getting my own Ebersplutter working, I will invest in a thermal immersion suit should you be planning another excursion?! Actually, another will have received his as well if he "signed on" quickly enough ...