BLUEMOMENT

In order for there to be some feeling of warmer climbs when Nick and Kathy return to Balvicar. I am including some changes that they should make to their house in order that they still think they are aboard Fairwinds.

No doubt the panel will add their suggestions.

Build a toilet block some 50 mtrs from the house with a smart card entry system, remove their wc, bath and shower from the house. Replace the contents of the bathroom with sails, anchors, lengths of rope together with other marine crap in order it has that boaty feeling.

Get the phone disconnected, buy a pay as you go sim for their mobile.

Get the T&T to install a BT Openzone hotspot. Nick can work from there an hour a day

Replace the cooker with a two ring hob, no oven or microwave.

Remove the washing machine, fridge, TV and DVD player from the house.

I await the panel's additional suggestions.

eddie

Jack up the whole house to a 30 degree angle and black out all the windows except for a 3" circle in the middle of each.

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we are star dust

Don't forget to add reefing points to the curtains and roller reefing to the shower curtain!

When you are doing the toilet block make sure all the cubicle doors are off the hinges and the floor is at least an inch deep in water and dissolving paper.

Cheers

Charlie

Sell off most of their back garden, leaving only a 3' square space with hard bench seats. A large pole or beam or somthing similar, about 3 feet above ground level, hooked up to a wind vane so that it swings across violently and unpredictably, will add that element of danger they are likely to miss. Ideally, this could be connected, probably by cunning artifice, to some kind of device which delivers random dollops of water.

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Tim

Add leecloths for those bumpy nights (nudge, nudge, wink, wink!)