Special Delivery

[bilbo]

Apropos of nothing much, I found myself - to everyone's surprise - standing my watch "2-On, 6-Off" on an Oaxter 575 fumbling its way from deepest, darkest Ipswich ( a dreary almost-Belgian settlement not even on the London River ) towards deepest, darkest Palma, Maj. a couple of weeks ago.

Without a shadow of doubt this was the poshist, shiniest, posiest, yot yet I've darkened the doorstep of. Everything but everything is done by pushbuttons. "More mainsail? 'Bzzzz.' There you are." "Trim the genoa in? 'Bzzzz'. Enuff?" "Coffee with three sugars, please. 'Bzzzz'....."

Nuttin' much to do except warm up the HiznHurs helming-banquettes with one's well-travelled bum, press the occasional '20 Left' on the 'Gieves' ST7000 when the double-flashing yellows of the tuna purse seiners come bobbin' by and steal the occasional peek at the wrist timepiece. Then tug the Musto over the eyes again, wriggle the fingers, and wonder what 'her indoors' is up to....

FWIW,









This last dreary pic is of the distant top-left corner of Spain.

Now, in retaliation, I have a qwessy. This particular Oaxter 575, newly-minted this June past, managed to make a very firm connection with a resilient chunk of granite or gabbro somewhere on the Scotia West Coast. My gentle inquiries in the swamps of Suffolk have elicited embarrassed lowering of eyes, and changes of subject. So, 'who, what, where, when, how?'

And could it possible have been down to no detailed hydro-depth data being shown on the sooper-dooper double-duplicated plotter screens. Or some other basic 'thum-up-bum' encounter with the Hanging Judge That Is The Sea. Answers in conf. and on a postcard, pleez, to me.

[Arghiro]

Very nice, but where does all that electrickery power come from? Does it have to have a genny maker running all day long to keep the coffee bubbling?

[bilbo]

Me no know! There was the suggestion that under the acres of polished oak flooring that was the saloon/ballroom, there lurked several dozen http://www.barden-ukshop.com/rolls-marine-flooded-deep-cycle-series-5000-batteries-330-c.asp batteries. It was, however, well above my pay grade to go investigating.

As we motor-sailed much of the time - it was a comparatively gentle Biscay crossing - remainder'd joos was not much of a concern. Yes, you're right. It was kinda boring in a 'get real' sort of way as we kept discovering 'exotica' - such as a flatscreen tele that arose from a saloon locker at the touch of a - yes - button. 96 satellite channels on the first search....

It seems perverse to prefer 'manky wee boats' and I'll probably need counselling before I shake off the shades of that trip, but -seriously - it was about as dull a passage as I can recall. 'Cept for the dolphins....

[Nick]

Very nice, but where does all that electrickery power come from? Does it have to have a genny maker running all day long to keep the coffee bubbling?

Not quait as posh as Bilbo's Oyster, but I helped take an HR42 across Biscay from Ardglass to La Coruna last August and she was an all-electric beastie - even to the extent of no gas on board. Flying across Dublin Bay at 11 knots we still had to fire up the generator to make a cup of coffeee. The cooker was all-electric (ceramic hob) and we had a breadmaker on board!

Dunno where said Oyster encountered the topography, but I am sure someone will know . What's her name?

[bilbo]

[Arghiro]

Oh my, how the other half live. Very impressive, but I don't suppose I could even afford to antifoul her.

Do Oyster do discounts for OAPs? I expect 99.9% off might be enough if I also rob a bank.

[claymore]

Whit aboot a pensioners cooperative?

[Arghiro]

Whit aboot a pensioners cooperative?

Excellent idea, I shall send my lifetime's collection of Green Shield Stamps right away. I also have a couple of empty whisky bottles as well if that would help.

[bilbo]

With apologies to poet-laureate John Masefield.....



Echoes of an Oyster.

I must go down to the sea again, in a modern high-tech boat,
And all I ask is electric, for comfort while afloat,
And alternators, and solar panels, and generators going,
And deep cycle batteries with many amperes flowing.

I must go down to the sea again, to the autopilot's ways,
And all I ask is a GPS, and a radar, and displays,
And a cell phone, and a weatherfax, and a shortwave radio,
And compact disks, computer games and TV videos.

I must go down to the sea again, with a freezer full of steaks,
And al I ask is a microwave, and a blender for milkshakes,
And a watermaker, air-conditioner, hot water in the sink,
And e-mail and a VHF to see what my buddies think.

I must go down to the sea again, with power-furling sails,
And chart displays of all the seas, and a bullhorn for loud hails,
And motors pulling anchor chains, and push-button sheets,
And programs which take full charge of tacking during beats.

I must go down to the sea again, and not leave friends behind,
And so they never get seasick we'll use the web online,
And all I ask is an Internet with satellites over me,
And beaming all the data up, my friends sail virtually.

I must go down to the sea again, record the humpback whales,
Compute until I decipher their language and their tales,
And learn to sing in harmony, converse beneath the waves,
And befriend the gentle giants as my synthesizer plays.

I must go down to the sea again, with RAM in gigabytes,
And teraflops of processing for hobbies that I like,
And software suiting all my wants, seated at my console
And pushing on the buttons which give me complete control.

I must go down to the sea again, my concept seems quite sound,
But when I simulate this boat, some problems I have found.
The cost is astronomical, repairs will never stop,
Instead of going sailing, I'll be shackled to the dock.

I must go down to the sea again, how can I get away?
Must I be locked in low-tech boats until my dying day?
Is there no cure for my complaint, no technologic fix?
Oh, I fear this electric fever is a habit I can't kick.

[claymore]

Nick thinks you need to do a tack and a gybe...

[Ocklepoint]

Is this the boat that was returned on a low loader from Adrossan?