Proofreading time again please

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Nick
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Proofreading time again please

Postby Nick » Fri May 17, 2013 10:05 am

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YachtCharterClyde has just gone live.

A bit of final proofreading from anyone at a loose end would as usual be much appreciated.
- Nick 8)

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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby cpedw » Fri May 17, 2013 1:37 pm

Home page top line "...boat of her..." and modern ??

Apart from Contact/How to find us I didn't see any mention of where it's based.

I like to see a Layout. I suppose there's one in the brochure download but up front would be better IMO.

Derek

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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby aquaplane » Fri May 17, 2013 1:38 pm

My spelling is pants so I'll not mention that I didn't see anything wrong.

Links all seem to work.

longbow.html (and another page) has some pale blue text that doesn't seem consistant with the rest of it, and there is no apparent reason for it to be highlighted that I could see. Is it deliberate?
Seminole.
Cheers Bob.

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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby tom26 » Fri May 17, 2013 3:49 pm

I never normally post but the combination of the lure of proof reading and a quiet Friday afternoon has me motivated!


On the first page - through our Cruisng Area pages

On longbow.html - is spacious, is easily accessable

On safety.html - 'grab bag' with aditional safety equipment

On overview.html - long seas lochs the Clyde

On arran.html - Not sure this makes sense to me but could be wrong of course - The shortest passage to Arran is from the North, with Lochranzea is a short sail from Tarbert or Tighnabruaich

On arran.html - waters of Kilbrandon Sound takes you down

On itineraries.html - Kilchattan Bay can make a pleasant detur for a

On availability.html - our clients' requiremets

Nice site

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Nick
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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Nick » Fri May 17, 2013 4:36 pm

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Brilliant guys - this is all tremendously helpful. Will get these things sorted later this evening if I manage to stay out of the pub, though I am slightly on other peoples' holidays again. This is a hazard of living on Seil I'm afraid.
- Nick 8)

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Mark
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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Mark » Fri May 17, 2013 9:35 pm

I haven't had a good long read but the site is exactly to my taste.

Really simple, no b0llo0ks.

The off season price looks spot on and I have real affection for Longbows.

The description of the Clyde is spot on: "safe, sheltered and with a wealth of facilities yet still wild enough to get away from it all if that is your preference".

10/10.

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Nick
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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Nick » Sat May 18, 2013 12:30 am

Mark wrote:
The description of the Clyde is spot on: "safe, sheltered and with a wealth of facilities yet still wild enough to get away from it all if that is your preference".

10/10.


Thankyou. Copywriting is just one of the many free services my web clients get that others have to pay for :o
- Nick 8)

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Nick
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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Nick » Sat May 18, 2013 12:01 pm

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That's all those changes made. Quite a few of the photos on the site are duplicated, so I will be updating them next week.
- Nick 8)

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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby MrMcP » Sun May 19, 2013 8:23 am

Terms and conditions page:

One heading reads OPTIONAL EXPTRAS THAT THE CHARTERER PAYS FOR

There seems to be mixed fonts between text paragraphs and bullet points?

Security deposit is first described as a minimum of £750, then later as a cheque for £1000.

Sail Swallow appears once, presumably should be Yacht Charter Clyde?

There is one bullet point under obligations of charterer (think it's the second one) that should be a nested bullet list but instead appears as text interspersed with 'o' where each nested bullet should appear.

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Nick
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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Nick » Sun May 19, 2013 10:48 am

MrMcP wrote:Terms and conditions page:

One heading reads OPTIONAL EXPTRAS THAT THE CHARTERER PAYS FOR

There seems to be mixed fonts between text paragraphs and bullet points?

Security deposit is first described as a minimum of £750, then later as a cheque for £1000.

Sail Swallow appears once, presumably should be Yacht Charter Clyde?

There is one bullet point under obligations of charterer (think it's the second one) that should be a nested bullet list but instead appears as text interspersed with 'o' where each nested bullet should appear.


Thanks MrMcP - that was a much needed fine toothed comb.
- Nick 8)

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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Gardenshed » Sun May 19, 2013 11:46 am

Day 5 of the suggested cruising itinerary:

but tehre are plenty of sheltered anchorages in the huge natural harbour of Lamlash bay - or pick up a visitors’ mooring.

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Nick
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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Nick » Sun May 19, 2013 11:58 am

Gardenshed wrote:Day 5 of the suggested cruising itinerary:

but tehre are plenty of sheltered anchorages in the huge natural harbour of Lamlash bay - or pick up a visitors’ mooring.


Thanks - now fixed.
- Nick 8)

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Re: Proofreading time again please

Postby Booby Trapper » Sun May 19, 2013 5:26 pm

Home page- Guillemot is is currently being fitted out.

You like your commas there are a lot of commas that I don't think should be there but what do I know.

Finally there are twin quarterberths aft, giving a total of...... between aft and giving?

straight berth to stbd, with good storage behind .... Comma between stbd and with not needed?

for a fleet of warships, yet snug enough for a yacht ....Another comma?

open water of Loch Fyne, with spectacular views .....Another comma?


Loch Goil is a branch off Loch Long to the west, and has two attractive destinations ....another comma?

The East coast of Arran is more exposed, but the huge natural harbour ...comma?

Loch Long will take you to the foot of the Arrrochar Alps
Kyles of bute.....the island of Bute from the mainland the North.....????

The new marina at Portavadie, opposite Tarbert, is an alternative destination....another 2 commas?

This is suggested as a starting point for people who haven't visited the Clyde before. If you are an old Clyde hand you will no doubt have a long list of places you want to go).....Closed bracket but no opening

Could do better 6/10 :D


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