BLUEMOMENT

I can possibly save the World from the ravages of drought.
No further need to rattle cans in the street to raise money for boreholes.
Just issue one can of epifanes varnish and a brush to the headman of each stricken village, point him at a piece of tediously prepared teak, and within a hour it will rain - or hail.
I had a hammered-finish handrail until I re-sanded it all and put on the "last coat", having checked several weather sites, but it still rained.
I don't care anymore.

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Just because you're paranoid
doesn't mean they're not out to get you.